May 2013
randomstuff134:
sodamnrelatable:
take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
First night sleeping in my room at the apartment I’m subletting in for the summer. I don’t think I’ve ever been more homesick. But this time its homesickness for my boyfriend’s apartment, homesickness for my old dorm room, and homesickness for my room back home. I can easily say that over the last few weeks/months, my boyfriend’s bed has become more my bed than my own...
boy: shit baby you're so wet already
girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
4 tags
Being sick in Elementary: Yay home from school chicken noodle soup and movies
Being sick in high school: OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO MISS A MATH NOTE AND THEN GET BEHIND IN ENGLISH AND THEN I'LL HAVE LATE MARKS OFF MY PRESENTATION AND I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FAIL EVERYTHING AND DIE ALONE UNEDUCATED AND OLD AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO GRAPH A PARABOLA
College: did I have class today
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
foodchewer:
*hides good snacks from family members*
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
helioscentrifuge:
aggressively reads your readmores to make sure you’re okay
pegthepatriarchy:
Eat that pussy and be grateful. There’s starving nice guys in fedoras who don’t have any.
smarny:
review of human body
0/5 stars, weak, fleshy, unsuitable to my needs. forces constant awareness of limitations + mortality. cannot find form for return/upgrade? would not recommend
astudyinspock:
WHY DON’T PEOPLE CARE ABOUT NASA AND SPACE IT IS SOMETHING I LITERALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE SPACE IS SO INCREDIBLE AND JUST ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING AND NASA IS JUST THIS MASSIVE POWERHOUSE OF SCIENCE AND IT ACTUALLY PUTS PEOPLE IN SPACE WHAT ABOUT THAT IS NOT AMAZING TO PEOPLE AND WHY DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THAT NASA NEEDS TO STOP DOING THIS AWESOME STUFF SOMEONE PLEASE...
Softcore Queen: dinobearthemighty: rubyvroom:... →
dinobearthemighty:
rubyvroom:
methodistcoloringbook:
queendread:
I don’t understand the USA, all your roads are straight and all your cities look like they were planned using Excel.
Everyone knows the only way to build a city is to wait until a bunch of tiny villages merge together over centuries and create a sprawling clusterfuck of winding roads that make no sense and have no street...
doctorheavenharkness:
n0kil7ing:
sevenseasaurus:
Science experiment: Who is easiest to summon?
Egberts?
Pizza?
John Green?
A vegan?
The only way to find out is to reblog and wait. Wait patiently. Just wait. It will be good I promise.
fuck you vegans aren’t your source of entertainment you animal killers.
and the vegan wins
nunnabe:
lulz-time:
printers are awful
it’s 2013 so
why do they still make so much noise
why are they so pushy and impatient
why is it that printer ink costs more than printers themselves
why can’t they just wait for two seconds until you load more paper before going into some sort of mid-life crisis during which they try to re-evaluate their entire lives before collapsing
That fourth...
3 tags
Welp apparently I’m going to EDC New York on Friday. Spontaneous plans FTW.
“Some men who want to compliment random women on the street are genuinely good...”
– Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason (via albinwonderland)
read it ‘til the end. (via bold—waves—tumble)
general psa:
jcatgrl:
freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
“Although most boys figure out how to bring themselves to orgasm by age thirteen,...”
– (via compulsives)
sexhaver:
boredlord:
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
tickettoheaven:
chafing-nipples:
dangermat:
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide
that’s pretty fucking metal
I’d say it’s pretty fucking
bananas
